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A journey from death to discovery

Updated: Jun 13, 2021

Heavens! It’s been a short while since I popped into your inbox.

The harrowing grief left my thoughts going around in a perpetual loop of melancholy and I found it hard to let my thoughts go in any other direction. No matter what I did to try and distract myself, my mind got drawn back to constant thoughts of him. The why’s, the wherefores, the what if’s, and the desire to have him back to answer all those unanswered questions. At times I felt like I was literally going mad and I didn’t know how I would ever recover. I felt angry, I felt betrayed, I felt robbed of time, I felt love, I felt grateful, I felt despair, I felt frustration, but most of all I felt an intense desire to share another conversation together. There were even times when I felt like I wanted to die so that I could be with him again, however I knew that I had at least three good reasons to keep living. I didn’t want my significant other and our children to feel the same way I was feeling, to be consumed by a dark fog that would not lift. Death is a terrible thing, especially when it is so sudden and unexpected. The death of someone so dear is a reminder to oneself of the place we are all heading to, and also a reminder to ourselves of the importance of living. It’s very cliched to say that ‘life is short’ but it really is, which is why we should just get on with it. Book those holidays, visit those friends and family members you’ve been meaning to catch up with, sign up for those courses that take you out of your comfort zone and live each day as if it’s your last, for none of us know what tomorrow has in store for us. And this is exactly what I’ve done to try and recalibrate my mind and start living again.

To say that ‘art is therapy’ is the truth and it really can be one of the greatest means of attaining a mindful state of being. With no creative bent whatsoever, I took the plunge and decided to sign up for a painting workshop. It was more fun than I could’ve imagined. On a wonderful winter’s afternoon over a kick of ginger tea and homemade caramel slice, I joined with other like minded people to create a masterpiece. Well maybe to say it was a masterpiece is being a tad ambitious, however we all set out with the same goal in mind. I learnt the art of fabric painting, in particular how to use indigo and plain old ‘White King’ bleach to lay down some artwork onto a piece of pure linen fabric. I designed my own tea towel and I have never felt more proud. More importantly I had fun doing it and my mind was at peace. It was so cathartic and I left the studio vowing to return for another spot of creativity.

Tools at the ready and some inspiring designs at The Happen Store, Annandale.

I am a passionate tea lover and I’m always on the hunt for the best pot of masala chai in town. Seldom do I find it, but when I do I become obsessed. My constant quest to find the best chai is what led me to explore a course aptly named The Art of Chai Making. I had to board the train and head to a place called Summer Hill in Sydney’s inner west to the headquarters of Chai Walli, which literally means a female tea maker. In India every woman is a Chai Walli and Uppma, the granddaughter of an Ayurvedic doctor and owner of Chai Walli is up there with the best. Chai is a staple of every Indian household and the lubricant of any social occasion, a language of its own that brings people together to create special memories. Joined by other chai enthusiasts, Uppma shared her unparalleled knowledge of spices and led us on a sensory journey to understand the authentic culture of chai, and to master the traditional method of brewing chai on the stove top. The warmth of her hospitality was only equalled by that of the warm brew and we all left feeling a little bit brighter for having attended the workshop. The skills we learned have come home with us, and this morning I enjoyed a spot of mindfulness as I prepared my first authentic chai in a saucepan on the stove top. I am now an official Chai Walli and happy to continue my journey into becoming a master chai maker.

Spice up your life

The autumn days are getting shorter and winter is almost upon us. The days are clear, the nights are crisp. Tonight I sit snuggled on the lounge with my beloved cat curled up beside me feeling a little lighter and brighter for having stepped outside my comfort zone to enjoy these soulful and heart warming activities. I’m happy that I have decided to ‘get on with life’.

Until next time may your days be both serendipitous and enjoyable.


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